Ah, it always happens. Life is good, good, good until it is bad, bad, bad. And today was the bad, bad, bad.
Not for any particularly big reason. But for a lot of tiny, little nonsensical reasons, which I will now list:
1) A. went home yesterday after a lovely weekend
2) I am sick of walking the same way to school every day
3) I am sick of Kreuzberg/Freidrichshain/Neukolln and the constant circling I do of these places
4) I am sick of going to school every morning and writing every afternoon for Edinburgh. Things are going well and I feel like my script is getting somewhere. I’ve done a lot of other stuff done too for Edinburgh, like images and preview films and flyers and other admin-y type stuff, but all of it is now boring the pants off of me.
5) I am sick of not being able to communicate confidently with people (goddamn it, how long exactly does it take to become fluent at a language?)
6) I had many horrid dreams in which it turns out my mother had actually been alive all this time, but had just run away from the family and I had only just found this out because she had JUST DIED AGAIN (or, for the first time?) and I was informed as next of kin that she was dead, which I thought I already knew (oh, what a fun, fun, fun dream that was)
7) I am sick of cheese. This is a problem because pretty much every aisle in a German supermarket is a cheese aisle. Then, right at the end there is a little box of fruit & vegetables, fresh bread and meat.
8) Apparently I no longer enjoy cake. I keep buying it and eating it, hoping it will make me happy like it used to and it turns out it is JUST FOOD. JUST FOOD FULL OF NAUSEA-INDUCING SUGAR. Why didn’t anyone tell me it didn’t have magical properties?
9) I don’t know what I’m going to do for work.
10) I don’t know what I WANT to do for work.
11) I don’t know where in the world I want to live, but I’m not sure it’s here and I don’t know if it’s Australia and it might be the UK, but I’m not allowed back there.