One-liners

Aw, man, blogging. Blogs. Blogging blog blogs. Goddamn why’d I ever get a blog?

There has been nothing to blog about this week (oh, except the election. But I already wrote a bad election night poem on that subject so we can just move right along now). But, I am nothing if not consistent (except those times when I’m not), so here I am to fill you in on my ‘inceredibly-exciting-not-to-be-missed-London-life-and-last-year-of-my-twenties’.

But I’m really bored and lazy, so I’ve decided to sum up every day in one sentence.

I considered doing haikus, but I’m going to be honest, I don’t really know the structure of a haiku well enough to write one and wikipedia-ing the structure at 10:20pm on a Friday night seemed like way too much effort.

Also, and prepared to be shocked, I really hate haikus.

I know, I know, you’d think it would be something I’d like, right? But, no. Not really. They just kind of piss me off and leave me feeling deeply unsatisfied in an inexplicable and disconcerting way. Like bad sex. Which might be the point, but I’d just really rather not, ok?

And I fully expect to receive a large amount of hate-mail from all you Haiku fanciers out there, and let me just say, before you start, I will only be acknowledging hate-mail written in haiku form. I mean, if you care about haikus THAT MUCH you must at least be able to tell me I suck within the format, yeah? Excellent.

Anyway, onto my days in one sentence each and one sentence only.

Sunday: Sudden autumnal weather led to lying on the couch writing, reading and drinking tea all day long.

Monday: Swimming and a job offer softened the blow of travelling all the way to Finsbury Park for a show that was sold out – and I didn’t have a ticket for.

Tuesday: Second sold out show (with no ticket) of the week, but this time I made it in to see ‘Grounded’ at the Gate Theatre.

Wednesday: Lovely Crouch End is surprisingly easy to get to considering how far away it is from where I live,

Thursday: Threw water balloons at a man dressed in a schoolgirl outfit wearing a Putin mask whilst this song was playing:

(Oh, London)

Friday: Went swimming at 9:30pm and first got a whole lane to myself and then the WHOLE POOL.

So, there you go. My week. Blog post DONE.

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