Overheard Children’s Conversation

Kids’ conversation is hysterical. Some of its sweet, for example:

Eldest Girl: What’s it like being you? 

Cousin: Oh, you know. You’re bored by everything. You live opposite your school, and you love your video games. You’re thinking about playing your X-Box all the time, like, right now, like, I can’t wait to get home and play my X-Box, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, I can’t wait.

But most of it is just a bizarre attempt at one-up-manship.  Exhibit A:

Eldest Girl: (in reference to a slushie) Look how water-y mine is. 
Cousin: Yeah, but, look how water-y mine is. 
Eldest Girl: Yeah, but look what I can do. 
Cousin: So? So? I can do that, I can do that. Look how water-y mine is, see? See? Its just dripping off the straw. 
Eldest Girl: Mine’s dripping off more. 
Cousin: No it isn’t. 
Eldest Girl: Yes it is. 
Cousin: Yeah, but look how water-y mine is now. 
Eldest Girl: Yeah, well look how water-y mine is. 
(uneasy silence) 
Eldest Girl: You’ve got more than me. 
Cousin: No I don’t. 
Eldest Girl: Yes you do. 
Cousin: Yeah, and mine’s more water-y. 
Eldest Girl: No, its not. 
Cousin: Yes it is. 
(uneasy silence) 
Eldest Girl: (blowing bubble in slushie) Look what I can do! 
Cousin: That proves you have more than me. 
Eldest Girl: (anxious pause) No it doesn’t. 
Eldest Girl: (in reference to lollies) Are you going to get those ones next time? 
Cousin: No, I’m going to get the same ones as you. 
Eldest Girl: Why? 
Cousin: Because those ones are better than mine.
Eldest Girl: Did you wish you got these ones today? 
Cousin: No. 
Eldest Girl: Why not?
Cousin: ‘Cause. 
Eldest Girl: ‘Cause why? 
Cousin: ‘Cause I wanted the fake tattoo that came with these ones. 
Eldest Girl: But you didn’t even put it on. 
Cousin: Yeah, but I wanted it anyway. 
Eldest Girl: If there’s been cola flavoured ones, would you have wished that you got the same ones as me today? 
Cousin: No. 
Eldest Girl: Yes you would. 
Cousin: No I wouldn’t. 
Eldest Girl: Yes you would. 
Cousin: No I wouldn’t.
Eldest Girl: (pause) Mine are better than yours.
Eldest Girl: (in front of the eldest girl’s school) Is my school bigger than your school?

Cousin: Yeah, I think your school is bigger than my school.

Eldest Girl: Is that house bigger than your school?

Cousin: No.

Eldest Girl: It is, but.

Cousin: No, its not.

Eldest Girl: Yes it is, its got three storeys and two kitchens and its really huge, I know ’cause I’ve been inside it and you never have and its definately bigger than your school.

Cousin: No, its not.

Eldest Girl: My friend’s house is bigger than your school.

Cousin: Which is your friend’s house?

Eldest Girl: That one.

Cousin: Its not bigger than my school.

Eldest Girl: It is, but. It doesn’t look so big on the outside, but then its SO big when you go inside, you don’t know.

Cousin: No, its not.

Eldest Girl: It is, it is, its got three storeys and two kitchens too.

Cousin: No it doesn’t, I couldn’t even see it behind the trees.

Eldest Girl: Well, I could.

Cousin: I couldn’t.

Eldest Girl: I could.

Cousin: You see that shop? That used to be a toy shop
Eldest Girl: I know. 
Cousin: I used to go in there all the time. I went in there, like, 10 times.
Eldest Girl: So did I, so did I, I loved that shop. 
Cousin: Me too, me too. 
Eldest Girl: You know our neighbours? They used to own that shop. And the toy shop at Castletownshend and the toy shop down the road. 
Cousin: Wow, they must be rich. 
Eldest Girl: Yeah, they are. 
Cousin: (pause) Then why don’t they make their house look better?
Eldest Girl: That’s my friend’s house, that’s my friend’s house. Its the nicest house in the whole world. 
Cousin: Its ok. 
Eldest Girl: No, its not, its the nicest house in the whole world, I know, I’ve been inside it, its HUGE and its got so many bedrooms and its got three storeys and a big play area. 
Cousin: Are they rich? 
Eldest Girl: Yeah, they’re really rich, they’re so rich. 
Cousin: Does her Dad have a really good job? 
Eldest Girl: Yeah, her Dad has a really good job, its a really, really good job. He’s an electrician. 
Cousin: That’s not such a good job. 
Eldest Girl: No, but it is, its a really good job. Well, maybe its not such a good job, but they’re really, really rich. Because they’re house is so nice.

This last one wasn’t overheard, but it was definately my favourite conversation of the day. 
(we see a teenager driving really fast)
Eldest Girl: Why do teenagers always drive so fast?
Jenny: I don’t know, I think they think they’re being rebellious. 
Eldest Girl: What’s that mean? 
Jenny: It means they think they’re breaking the rules. Well, they are breaking the rules. 
Cousin: Why do they like that? 
Jenny: Because they’re bored and its exciting to break the rules. They just really like to break the rules. They like to drive fast, and they like to go out late and they like to ignore their parents… 
Eldest Girl: But, what they really like to do is loiter. 
Jenny: Yes, I guess they do. 
Eldest Girl: They loiter all the time. Why do they do that? I don’t like how they do that. Why don’t they just go home?
Jenny: Because they think home is boring. 
Cousin: That’s stupid. They’re so stupid. 
Jenny: You should feel sorry for them. How horrible would it be to find life boring all the time? Can you think how awful that would be if you didn’t like anything? 
Cousin: I think everything’s boring. 
Jenny: But you had a good time today at Supernova, didn’t you? 
Cousin: Yeah. 
Jenny: So, you didn’t find that boring, did you? 
Cousin: No. 
Eldest Girl: But why do they have to loiter????

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