Today I was given some very vital information by my eldest charge. According to her, when it rains, its because God’s fairies are crying. This would help explain a great deal of my confusion over the weather and why Irish weather forecasters don’t seem to have a clue of what they are talking about. I mean, if they are attempting to predict the emotions of a bunch of highly volatile and sensitive supernatural beings, they’ve obviously got to be given leave to have a wider margin of error. The only thing I’ll say is that, clearly the fairies in Australia are a lot more fixed and predictable in their moods. Maybe the fairies in Ireland are all teenage girls with PMS or something.
Anyway, today, the fairies were crying especially hard. My eldest girl asked me why that was the case.
I didn’t know what to answer. Should I take it as an opportunity to teach her about the evils of global warming? Poverty? Selfishness? About the fact that she shouldn’t hit her sister?
Or should I come up with something more whimsical? The fairies were crying because no-one believed in them. The fairies were crying because everyone always called them angels, and they weren’t, they were actually fairies. I was about to tell her that God was mean to the fairies, but I suspected the follow-up question/remark would be ‘What did God do?’ or ‘God is NEVER mean!’
Luckily, I hesitated so long she got bored of her initial inquiry and moved onto the next topic of conversation, which was, why did the car have to go slower as soon as we got into Bandon?
Catholicism is a lot more complicated than I at first imagined.