I Am…

I have an admission to make.
Its not pleasant.
Its rather embarrassing.
But it has to be said.
No matter the consequences.
No matter how much I hate it. 
No matter how much it hurts. 
Because the truth does hurt, sometimes.
And the truth is hard.
And the truth is uncomfortable.
But you have to tell the truth, don’t you?
Well, because, because….
Because, its the truth, I suppose. 
And the truth is always good, right?
That’s what they taught us in primary school.
I think.
I’m sure I remember that.
Here goes.
The truth.
I am fat.
I said it.
Now you all know.
I’ll understand if you block on me on facebook.
You can stop suppressing your gag reference when you look at me.
Feel free to be openly disgusted. 
Oh, wait…
You say what now? 
You already knew?
But you never said…
Well, yes, I suppose you could see…
But, you never mentioned…
You were being polite.
Well, that’s nice, I suppose.
But we don’t have to pretend anymore.
You can tell me I’m a pig when you see me going for a cheese sandwich. When I slather butter on my bread and mayonaise. Feel free to tell me to go for a run or to get off my fat arse.
You weren’t going to do that?
I don’t think you understand.
I’m FAT.
Fatty fatty fat-fat.
Get it?
Look, its not that hard.
Do you want me to spell it out for you?
I’m fat. And its my fault.
You still don’t understand?
Its my fault! I’m fat, and its my fault!
I eat disgusting things! I sit on my backside and watch TV and eat nutella out of the jar!
Yes, ok, you do that too, but I don’t think you realise…
Look, would you just shut up and listen to me?
I am a disgusting human being.
I am FAT.
Sometimes I eat 4 chocolate biscuits IN A ROW.
I eat the food off other people’s plates when they are finished.
I don’t find Indian food too heavy or fatty.
I never push my plate away at a restaurant and say, ‘I’m full’.
If I go to an ‘All You Can Eat’ Buffet’, I won’t feel happy unless I’ve been back to the buffet at least 4 times.
I eat all the lollies at the parties.
And the chips too.
I probably ate the last slice of vegetarian lasagne you were looking for. And I finished off the loaf of bread and all the feta cheese.
You still don’t care.
I’m ugly.
Aren’t I?
I’m slovely.
And lazy.
And greedy.
I must be.
I’m fat.
I’m selfish. 
I’m probably stupid too.
And maybe I have breathing problems.
And I’m probably really bad in bed.
Don’t you think?
I mean, I’m fat.


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Filed under Introspection, Random

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